Ron and Harry Omegle Convo
by Tell Me I Belong
Summary: Rated M for language and sexual innuendos. Harry and Ron reveal their feelings for each other over the internet. Few AVPM references.


**Rated M** for language and sexual innuendos.  
Harry and Ron reveal their feelings for each other over the internet.  
Few AVPM references.  
(Mind you, this is an ACTUAL Omegle conversation between me and someone else playing Harry, haha.)

* * *

**You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!  
****Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.**

**Stranger:** hey

**You:** Harry?

**You:** That you?

**Stranger:** FINALLY!

**Stranger:** SOMEONE FOUND ME!

**You:** Holy shit, mang!

**You:** Where the fuck were you?

**You:** We've been looking everywhere for you?

**You:** !

**You: **Goddamn!

**Stranger:** Damn, chill, bro, I was just getting some butterbeer to calm down. All these dementors and shit are really getting me down.

**You: **Sorry, force of habit.

**You:** People tell me they swear I'm in love with you, I deny it in public.

**You:** I mean, I'm not.

**You:** Where have you been, mang?

**Stranger: **Um, okay, sure...

**Stranger:** Meh, just been walking around, sure gets boring being a wizard and errthing.

**You:** And what the fuck are you talking about? Dementors?

**You:** What happened to you?

**Stranger: **Just saw some coming towards me and I was all like "OH SHIT MANGG" and did this, like, epic spell, that I totally forgot. You shoulda been there. It was chill.

**You:** Must've been lost while you were doing you butterbeer drinking and shit.

**You:** You gotta come back, you've been gone for so long!

**You:** Everyone thought you were dead.

**You:** But not me. I, the greatest Weasley king didn't give up on you!

**Stranger: **Oh snap, me, dead? Neverrr.

**Stranger:** But I don't think I'm coming back.

**You:** ...

**You:** ...What?

**You:** W-why?

**Stranger: **Come on, think about it! I could be like this awesome runaway wizard who travels around the world defeating shit and being all cool while recording my journey on used napkins. Cool, right?

**You:** Used napkins? Gross.

**You:** Can... I tag along?

**You:** I mean, I AM your best friend...

**Stranger:** Heck yeah mang!

**You: **:D!

**You:** SERIOUSLY

**You:** NO WAY DUDE

**Stranger:** WHAT :D

**You:** FUCKIN' AWESOME

**You: **Let's get a doggie

**You: **I love doggies.

**You: **And after your paid for being a worldwide hero and shit, we should get a whole truck load of Red Vines.

**You:** FUCK YES.

**Stranger: **Pshh, doggies ftw.

**You: **you're*

**Stranger:** Red Vines, helllll yeahhhh.

**You:** I'm too slow.

**Stranger:** Hey, being an awesome person is a full-time job, no time for grammar.

**You: **You called me awesome! :3

**You:** I still can't get over that you're Harry freakin' Potter.

**You:** After what? Like...

**You:** ...A month after meeting you?

**Stranger:** But... what about Hermione? She'll FREAK OUT.

**You:** No.

**You:** Herman won't come.

**You:** Just... no.

**Stranger:** You're awesome as hell man. Just sayin'.

**Stranger: **I know, but she'll worry...  
And things will get scary.

**You: **We'll tell her our adventures via FB.

**You:** If we need help, we just whip out our phone and message her or something.

**Stranger:** Ah, good idea. Finally, NO SNAPE! :DDDDD

**You:** YUUUS. NO SNAPE.

**You:** What a butt-trumpet.

**Stranger: **God, this is gonna be THE SHIT. I can't wait.

**You:** Me neither, mang!

**Stranger:** Butt-trumpet indeed.

**You:** Mang... I wish your dad could see us now.

**You:** Even though I've never met your dad, I feel like I'm your love - BROTHER. Your brother, and he is my daddio.

**Stranger:** Brother from another mother! Dad would be sooo0o0o0o proud.

**You:** Yeah! Us ditching school at just 12 years old to travel the world and save people from evil with the few spells that were taught to us in the small time we were at Hogwarts!

**You:** SO PROUD!

**Stranger: **Btw, I think I'm gonna go for the "no-glasses" look. You know, to look... rebellious. .com/2987bq6 Sexy, right?

**You: **We'll fuckin' rule the universe.

**You:** Mmm, I'll say. Where'd you get that hot picture?

**Stranger:** Hell to the yeah.

**You:** I... don't remember you having a photo shoot in the forest.

**Stranger:** And I know someone. Someone who... take photos in forests. He's pretty cool.

**You:** All the beautiful girls around the world be chasin'.

**You:** Hagrid?

**Stranger:** OMFG how'd you know?

**You:** He IS a pretty good photographer, if I say so myself.

**You:** And him and I are tiiiight.

**Stranger:** Sweet. Got any hot pictures of yourself ;)?

**Stranger:** Uh... I mean... :|

**You:** Oh, yeah! I'm in bed with this one hot girl.

**You:** I mean, if you don't mind.

**You: **I mean.

**Stranger: **What? Oh, uhh, yeah that's cool. I mean, it's not like I fantasize about you or anything while I wait for your replies...

**You:** .com/imgres?imgurl=.&imgrefurl=.com/movies/tag/sex%2Bscene&usg=_PD3YBNO4vEOM6klK-k7XA63Qtec=&h=323&w=448&sz=93&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=4hsRin6VbO_g6M:&tbnh=136&tbnw=210&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcherry%2Bbomb%2Bsex%2Bscene%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D684%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=141&vpy=388&dur=1214&hovh=191&hovw=264&tx=139&ty=150&ei=vsTITL-gLZS6sAPunNicCw&oei=vsTITL-gLZS6sAPunNicCw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:18,s:0

**You: **That's one nasty url.

**You:** Does it work?

**You:** And I'll just pretend I didn't blush at what you said...

**Stranger: **Yeah, that is pretty damn sexy.

**Stranger:** And I'll pretend that it's just the cutest thing that YOU actually blushed at something that I said...

**Stranger: **not*

**Stranger:** Heh... heh...

**You:** Heh... Yeh...

**You:** You know that necklace I have on?

**You:** In the pic, I mean?

**Stranger: **Yeahhh, buddy.

**You: **It's a metaphor for something...

**You: **It has an actual key that I, um...

**You:** Stowed in your bag a while ago..

**Stranger:** Oh really?

**Stranger: **What was the key for?

**You: **The lock on the necklace.

**Stranger:** Oh duh.

**You:** You see, I never actually... 'did it' with that girl. It was just a photoshoot...

**Stranger:** Ohmigod.

**You:** ...

**You:** Whut?

**Stranger:** Oh.. uhm nothing.

**You:** ...

**You:** 'Kay.

**You: **So, uhm, how's your uhm... Butterbeer?

**You: **How's your butterbeer?

**Stranger:** Oh. Well uh, I got kinda excited and spilled it all over myself.

**You:** I'd totally lick that off.

**You:** I mean

**You:** because it's butterbeer.

**You:** It's fucking good.

**You: **Y'know?

**Stranger:** I would enjoy that.

**Stranger: **Cause, you know...

**Stranger: **You would be happy, cause it's good...

**Stranger:** Yeah.

**Stranger: **I'll be right back, gotta go clean myself up in the bathroom...

**You: **Oh, sure, sure...

**Stranger: **Back. Did you miss me?

**You:** So much.

**You:** ...

**You:** You know what?

**You:** I'm tired of hiding.

**You: **I've got something to tell you.

**Stranger: **Okay.

**You:** I've been keeping this from you ever since I saw you.

**You: **I.. uhm...

**You:** I've been having these urges...

**Stranger:** To?

**You:** Well, I uhm, I don't know how to say this...

**Stranger:** Just say it. I don't care.

**You:** Oh.

**You: **You don't care.

**Stranger:** Wait, I didn't mean it like that.

**You:** Sure you didn't.

**Stranger:** You know what, I've got something to admit to you.

**You: **Sure.

**Stranger:** I think that well, uh, I...

**You:** Spit it out!

**Stranger:** I think I love you...?

**You: **Omg.

**You:** Dude.

**Stranger:** Oh no, lemme guess, you don't wanna be known with the gay hero.

**You: **No, no! It's not that, its..

**You: **It's that I think I'm in love with you...

**You: **too.

**You: **I'm in love with you, too.

**Stranger: **Well there goes my new butterbeer.

**Stranger:** Onto my lap.

**Stranger: **I must go to the bathroom and change again. Do you, uh, want, some, uh, pictures?

**You: **It's okay, already fantasizing about it.

**You: **Bloody hell.

**Stranger: **Okay, then. I'll be right back, again.

**You: **Uh, Harry?

**Stranger: **Yes

**Stranger: **?

**You: **I want to get some more off my chest.

**Stranger: **Sure.

**You: **Since, you know, we're now... Well, I don't know what we are now, but I guess it's more than best buddies.

**Stranger:** Right...

**You:** I just wanted to say that I've been in love with you since I've seen you, I guess. At first, I was unsure of it, but when I saw how Ginny reacted to seeing you and when we were alone, she'd go on and on about how cute you were and what a gentleman and how totally awesome and famous and shit you were, I realised I was jealous. And I realised I might not be straight as an arrow, after all. Maybe I'm still an arrow, just a very curved one, because of Her-my-1 and those enormous mountains of hers.

**You:** I also realised that all those things my sister went on and on about you were... right.

**You:** You are cute, you are a gentleman, you are totally awesome, (but I'm more famous than you).

**Stranger:** Oh, oh, now look! You've got me crying. I love you. I just love everything about you. You're cute, amazing, sweet, smart, just everything. I don't even deserve your coolness. You may be more famous than me, I don't care, I just... it's unexplainable.

**You:** Oh, fuck. You got me tearing up now.

**You:** God, Harry. -_-

**You:** I love you so much.

**Stranger:** Oh... I'm sorry, I don't want to make you hurt.. or cry. I'm so sorry. Should I leave? I don't deserve your love... not at all...

**You: **No! I'M the one who doesn't deserve YOUR love! You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Harry.

**You:** And you made me cry, yes, but they're tears of joy. (:

**Stranger:** Oh, I love you...

**You: **Oh, Harry 3

**Stranger: **I have to admit something...

**You:** Yeh, love?

**Stranger: **The first time I said I spilled butterbeer on myself, I didn't. I needed an excuse to go cut myself in the bathroom. Because of that picture you sent me...

**Stranger:** Ron... did I say something wrong?

**Stranger: **Bloody hell, I did.

**You:** No! You didn't!

**You:** I had to put away the laptop for a while... Mum walked in the room.

**You: **She doesn't know that... Y'know.

**You: **No one knows.

**Stranger:** Oh, I get it. You're my special secret too3

**You:** Except maybe Ginny. She seems suspicious after I excused myself from the room and went into a rage after she told me about her being in love with you and all.

**You:** Aw, Harry. :3

**You:** Okay, that face is too gay for me. Not doing that anymore.

**Stranger:** Oh, Ron, you're so funny. You... almost make the pain go away.

**You:** What pain? Who inflicted it?

**Stranger:** Me.

**You:** What? What do you mean, love?

**Stranger:** Look what I said up there, about the bathroom...

**You:** Wait - you cut yourself as a form of masturbation?

**Stranger:** No, love. I cut myself because I thought I could never be with you, seeing that picture of you with a woman, it made me feel like there was no hope for me.

**You:** Scratch my last thought then.

**You:** Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

**You:** I didn't know I hurt you so badly!

**You: **I don't deserve you, Harry, I really don't.

**You:** Maybe if you forgot about me, you'd be fine.

**You: **I'm sure you'd live a better life with Ginny.

**You: **Ginny touring the world with you... Ginny owning doggies with you... Ginny sharing a room with you...

**You:** Ginny having you. T-T

**You:** And Ginny sharing Red Vines with you - !

**You:** THAT BITCH

**You: **NEVERMIND, YOU'RE MINE 3

**Stranger:** Please, Ron, don't say that. You're going to make me do it again. Honestly, I want to share everything with you3

**You:** Oh, you're too sweet! 3

**Stranger:** .com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRLA0F7X_&t=1&usg=_93fBvcLAABmeut6cHX_QdguAciY=

**Stranger: **How could I resist that? ^

**You:** How can I resist THIS.

**You:** .com/imgres?imgurl=./_&imgrefurl=/daniel-radcliffe-equus-photos&usg=_XwB0tKcWm1HL72fNxd11JnEQTdw=&h=400&w=267&sz=18&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=2H1gRJ09-pXekM:&tbnh=133&tbnw=96&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddaniel%2Bradcliffe%2Bequus%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D684%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=285&ei=WMbITIG_JY-2sAPi0cXmCg&oei=WMbITIG_JY-2sAPi0cXmCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:20,s:0&tx=48&ty=51

**You:** No, really.

**You:** How can I.

**Stranger:** Ew. How could I be uglier...?

**You: **You mean sexier. AHEM.

**Stranger: **No, I don't. You are much hotter3

**You: **Stop being in denial.

**You: **You KNOW you're hot.

**Stranger: **No, I don't.

**Stranger:** Bloody hell! Ron!

**Stranger:** .com/imgres?imgurl=http:/www./files/Emma%2520Watson%2520Hot%&imgrefurl=http:/www./content/emma-and-ruperts-kiss-horribly-awkward&usg=_Zprj7GqleWA2hG3Dm3xYVXFbUGA=&h=500&w=342&sz=49&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=C30vD4B6V8XyzM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=90&prev=/images%3Fq%3Demma%2Bwatson%2Brupert%2Bgrint%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D684%26tbs%3Disch:10,17&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=278&ei=qcbITP_DGoa6sAOkt9HaCg&oei=qcbITP_DGoa6sAOkt9HaCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:13,s:0&tx=66&ty=65&biw=1276&bih=684

**You:** Shit, that DOES turn me on.

**You: **Sorry, bud.

**Stranger: **...

**You: **Even though it's OBVIOUSLY photoshopped.

**Stranger:** No, it's not, Ron.

**Stranger: **I can't believe I would believe you when you said those things to me... how could you?

**You: **What? You believe a stupid picture?

**You:** That DID NOT happen, and never will happen!

**You:** I'm in love with you, I say! YOU!

**Stranger:** Me and that... that girl!

**You: **I do not love her. I am merely attracted to her.

**Stranger: **I'm so confused, I just... I don't why you're attracted to her. Are you bi?

**You: **I am. Hence, 'curved arrow'.

**Stranger:** Oh, Ron. I don't want to fight with you. I just want you to love me, or not, but I know I'll love you either way.

**You: **3

**You: **No words for this.

**You:** 3

**Stranger:** 3?

**You:** Less than three.

**You:** It's... not a word, thilly gooth.

**Stranger:** Well, yes.

**Stranger:** Aw, it's so cute when you say that ^_^

**You:** You're so cute when you say it's so cute when I say that!

**Stranger:** Oh, Ron, do you still want to run away?

**You:** Forever and ever babe!

**You:** We'll leave all our problems!

**You:** And we don't have to fight evil! I mean, we ARE twelve.

**You:** We can just take a break till that charm is lifted when you turn seventeen.

**You:** THEN we're on the run.

**You:** I am NOT dying because of a noseless man.

**Stranger:** I won't ever let him touch you.

**Stranger: **EVER.

**Stranger:** I have to protect this beautiful face from harm: .com/2cc8qpg

**You: **Nuh uh, I wear the pants in this relationship.

**You: **I'm protecting YOU.

**You:** After all, Voldie's going after YOU.

**You: **Not me.

**Stranger:** How about we both protect each other? So it's equal.

**You: **Sure, why not :D

**Stranger:** Yay!

**You:** How are we going to travel the world at this age, though?

**You:** Like, srsly.

**You: **We need to disguise ourselves.

**Stranger: **But how?

**You:** Nevermind, I can't bear to look at you without looking at Harry's face.

**You: **It's the face of the fucking chosen one I'm in love with :D

**Stranger:** Awe, you're so sweet!

**You:** :D

**You: **You know, Harry, I think we can really make this work.

**You: **With your parents dead and my parents not giving a shit about their ginger children, we can still hide the fact we're gay.

**Stranger:** How about we call ourselves "Daniel Radcliffe" and "Rupert Grint"?

**You:** OMG. PERFECT

**You:** I love that name. 'Daniel Radcliffe'. That's mine. Okay? Okay.

**Stranger:** Okay. I don't care! I'll give my name up for you!

**You:** Your name? Okay. ):

**You:** I don't really care. Anything to make you happy :D

**You: **I rather like 'Rupert Grint' as well.

**Stranger:** You choose whatever you want, hun3

**You: **OKAIS.

**You:** Well, I'm gonna go pack. I'll meet you tonight at midnight, yeh? (;

**Stranger:** Yeah. But until then, we must keep in touch.

**You:** Of course, of course :D

**You:** 'Til tonight?

**Stranger:** 'Til tonight.

**You:** I'll be waiting! (:

**Stranger:** Accio midnight. ;D

**You have disconnected.**


End file.
